Blessings

Today while lying in bed, I thought about how blessed I am to have such a great, loving family and how blessed I am to have really wonderful friends who I know I can count on no matter what.

My dad’s right, we may not have a lot of money, we may not have a big house or a nice car and we may not be able to afford nice things all the time but we have each other and to us, it is everything. I think about how we don’t get to choose the families we are born into and I look at mine and I appreciate it all the more. I know I am lucky because not everyone gets to go home to a family like mine. I am lucky because I get a big hug from my brother almost everynight before I go to bed and I love yelling “Goodnight!” right before I enter my room and hearing 4 different voices greet me back even when they are busy. I love that when things are tough and when I’m upset or discouraged or anxious, that I have a family that listens and doesn’t mind staying up late just so I can rant and get everything out of my chest.

Not only do I have a great family, but I am also blessed with such amazing friends who I may not see all the time and who I am not able to talk to as much as I want but everytime I need them, they are always there. Just the other day I was really upset about something and my first instinct was to go online and a very close friend happened to be online at the same time. I just started talking and venting and he was so patient eventhough it was midnight his time and he was probably tired and sleepy already. What touched me the most was the fact that he made sure I was ok before signing off. They’re not great friends because they always agree with me and they’re not great just because they’re pretty or funny or smart… they’re great because they really listen and not feel the need to always give advice or solve my problems, they’re patient even when I am being unreasonable, they don’t judge me even when I make mistakes and they tell me when I am wrong. I respect them because I know I can trust them to tell me when I’m being an idiot or being inconsiderate. I like that when I confide in them, I don’t need to remind them to keep it to themselves.

There are different ways to measure success in our lives… and each person’s idea of happiness and fulfillment varies. But to me, it will always be the people in my life that make all the difference. They will always be what matters most to me.

Friends…Time… Distances

It’s amazing how much of an impact one person can have on you.

I think I’m terrible at keeping in touch with people (although Steve seems to think otherwise). Sure, I drop by a friend’s page every now and then to leave a message but I’m not particularly good at sending long emails on a regular basis. I don’t know why that is. Don’t get me wrong, I love my close friends so very much but I just can’t seem to develop the habit of constant communication.

It’s not to say that I don’t miss them because the truth is, I do miss them… a LOT. And I do wonder about how they are doing, where they are and what they’re doing. There isn’t a day that I don’t want to see them or hear from them.

Looking back at when I first met them, I had no idea back then how close we’d become and how important they would be to me. But through the years, I’ve grown to love them as if they were my own brothers and sisters.

Being in Canada makes it challenging to keep in touch as I’m not always in the most convenient time zone to call or chat (unless someone stays up ridiculously late at night). It also doesn’t help that some of us constantly travel so it’s a little hard to keep track of where people are at any one time. It’s obviously something we just have to learn to deal with and hopefully still be able to maintain close friendships despite the circumstances.

Of course I worry that there will come a time when we’ll be too caught up with the on-goings of our own lives that we might forget to keep in touch or that we’ll grow tired of each other and find new and interesting people to be friends with and share things with. People change and that’s a fact. As we grow older, we lose some friends and make all new ones. But even though I know that and that certain things are just beyond my control, I will still be sad if and when that happens.

Canada Day Weekend

The long weekend has come and gone and I am once again sitting at my desk at work wishing it was the long weekend all over again. It was a good break – having started the long weekend right with a BBQ in the office. It was nice to be at work on a Friday afternoon, doing nothing but eating BBQ and talking with people instead of working.

Friday night, Steve and I met up with friends at Jack Astor’s to celebrate Elisabeth’s graduation. We thought we’d be late but traffic had cooperated and we got there right on time. The following morning, Saturday, Steve and I had breakfast at Crème de la Crème along Bloor Street West and then headed downtown to the Royal Ontario Museum. He had gotten us museum tickets since I’ve never been there. We didn’t want to have to worry about parking downtown so we decided to take transit instead. Steve was so adorable taking the TTC… he was swiping the metropass the wrong way. LOL.

The ROM had 4 floors, all of which we visited. It was pretty amazing and we both loved it. It’s so interesting to see and learn about so many different things. We had taken some pictures with my phone camera since I had forgotten my digital camera at home. By the end of it, our feet hurt and we were starving. We must’ve been there for atleast 3 hours but it was all worth it. After the ROM, we took a walk along Yorkville and did a bit of shopping. That same night, we met up with Denny and company and went to Remy’s and had drinks on the rooftop. Since I don’t like the taste of alcohol, I drank iced tea the entire time. It was fun but I was freezing. It would’ve been nice to stay there for several hours if it weren’t so cold.

Sunday, I attended my first ever JW meeting with Steve. We stopped by Milestones first to have lunch since we had an hour to kill. YUM! The meeting we attended only lasted an hour and afterwards we headed to his place to change and then went to the beaches to play beach volleyball with his friends. I haven’t played volleyball since highschool and it is pretty safe to say I sucked at it. Steve on the other hand was amazing. He was the best player among all of us and I’m not being biased or anything. It’s the truth! He can return the ball and serve with ease. While he was racking up points for the team, I was getting bruised on my arms from the hitting the ball so hard. I don’t even know who lost of who won or how many games in total everyone played.

After volleyball, we went to another beach for the bonfire and to watch the fireworks display. It was so cold and thankfully we had brought a blanket with us. We were surprised at how many people had shown up. We had a beautiful view of the city and the water but it was super uncomfortable sitting on the rocks. Steve and I kept complaining how much our bum, our back and our legs hurt and we kept adjusting our sitting position and trying to find ways to make ourselves comfortable. After a couple of hours, we decided to head home since it was just plain uncomfortable already and we were freezing. We both got home at 3:00 am and I was so tired that I couldn’t even say my prayers straight.

Monday, Steve and I decided to go to his cousin’s place and we had brunch together and played Monopoly. I had to take a nap after because I was still exhausted from the day before. We spent the entire day there and left late to go home.

It really was a great weekend. We got to do so many things and see people and although we were pretty tired after, we had so much fun. Dammit, can we move back time and do it all over again?

Still the same?

I was browsing my Friendster account this morning and happened to check out my best friend from childhood’s profile. Every time I look at pictures of him, I am often amazed at how much he’s grown and matured over the years. I can still remember him as a boy…very playful and a bit talkative. I remember all the bike rides, afternoons spent outside playing games, going to the playground and all those nights in December when we would go caroling.

I haven’t spoken to him in years… I can’t even remember the last time I spoke to him nor the reasons for why we drifted apart considering we lived right next to each other. I guess living next door to someone doesn’t mean you can’t stop talking. I can only presume it must be due to our age gap…I’m two years younger and maybe somewhere along the way he grew up way faster than I did.

Sometimes I wonder how much he’s changed in the years since I last spoke to him… did he change at all? What type of music does he like now? When I think about these things, I am surprised at how much I still don’t know about him. Sure, we were best friends but that was a long time ago when our conversations were composed merely of what games we were going to play, who among the kids in our neighborhood were cool and some TV programs.

Looking at his Friendster page, I can’t help but smile when I see a movie or TV show he has listed as a favorite and it’s a favorite of mine too. Maybe we’ve both grown up and maybe we’ve both changed in so many different ways but maybe, just maybe, we’re still alike in some things.

Friends

I feel fortunate to have such great friends who despite being so far away still think of me and still say hi once in awhile. I feel loved and cared for and for someone like me who is miles away and lives in a totally different timezone, it truly means a lot. Even the little things are truly appreciated. I love the fact that I know I can always talk to them when I need them and they are always there to listen and offer comfort.

I love my friends and I hope that others are as fortunate as I am.

Out of the Loop

I’m so out of the loop when it comes to Philippine news and gossip. Not that I followed it before anyway but lately I realize when someone mentions a name, a show, some new dance move or a new expression, I feel my eyebrows crease and my whole facial expression turns into one, big, puzzled look. I realize I have no idea what they’re talking about.

And so lately, Google has been my friend, providing me with enough info or at least giving me an idea of what it is. Of course Google can only do so much and it doesn’t really help when you are trying to find out what a certain Filipino expression/slang really means. In fact, Google is only useful for tracking news and a few pictures here and there.

You don’t notice the changes that happen around you, the different little things that evolve and take place and then you move half-way around the world and every little thing is magnified.

Do you realize I have no idea what Big Brother is?!

Embarrassing as it is, I have to admit I am getting pretty slow on some of the goings-on.

No place like it

It’s so hot in my office. I share it with D, our new trainer, and our tiny space, although it has a door, does not have any windows nor any form of ventilation. We do have a sun roof which allows a bit of sunlight into the room but it doesn’t open. If we close our door, we end up boiling. We could keep the door open but since we both train and are on the phone a lot, we have to keep it closed to keep the noise out. I can tolerate heat more than D since I’m more used to it. Poor guy is suffering so much that he decided to bring a fan to work. Being a girl definitely has its advantages because I can go to work wearing lighter clothes while he normally goes to work wearing long-sleeved clothing. Told him he should invest in lighter clothing.

I was able to chat with Arlene this morning for about an hour or so. It feels good to talk to someone who also misses home as much as I do. We were both talking about how much we missed all our friends from college and how different it truly is to be living in North America. Not that it’s bad, it’s just different. She had posted a picture of all of us from college on her Friendster page and seeing it made me a little sad. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever stop missing home.

It’s funny she said she feels like all of the people she’s close to has either left the country or is leaving and she feels like she’s being left behind. It’s funny because I feel the exact same way. I kidded around saying I started it all by leaving first. It’s part of growing up I guess… sometimes we need to leave not necessarily because we want to, but because we have to.

Sometimes I worry that if I go back home for a visit, I might want to stay.

we’ve grown…

I was on Facebook this morning, thinking of changing my profile pic when I came across an old picture taken with a dear friend. I love that picture… it still feels like only yesterday we were sitting side by side under the sun with our picture being taken and now it’s been 3 years since and in a lot of ways we are all still the same but in a lot of ways we’ve also changed… I guess the proper word would be “grown”. Yes, we’ve grown…

absolutely amazing

Isn’t it amazing to look into another person’s eyes and see you? To know he/she sees you and loves you for you? To know that he/she adores you, accepts you, rejoices with you and cries with you? To know that in this big, big world, you do not go unnoticed because there is this special person whose life is complete because you’re in it?

When I See You Smile

Sometimes I wonder
How I’d ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn’t have a clue

‘Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world’s closing in on me,
And there’s no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And everything’s alright,
everything’s alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there’s nothing in this world
that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It’s like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don’t feel it,
’cause you’re here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I’ll ever need,
you’re all I’ll ever need

Chorus

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything’s alright,
everything’s alright

So right…

When I See You Smile
Bad English

For my college friends who I miss everyday…