Passing the year.

I can’t believe the year is almost up!

This is my fourth holiday season in Canada and I still find it weird that there are no fireworks outside and how quiet everything is compared to the Philippines. Every new year’s eve I strain to hear even the faintest sound of fireworks and I’m always met with silence.

It’s a habit of mine.. every new year’s eve, we’d be at Quezon City spending it with family and relatives and I’d wait anxiously for midnight. In the meantime, the whole family would go to mass together, have dinner, listen to music and just talk and laugh and play games in the living room. I always looked forward to it because aside from Christmas, it was the one time of the year where I got to see and spend time with all my relatives. It’s always fun and noisy and sometimes a little crazy.

Here in Canada, we try to stick to tradition as much as we can… going to mass on new year’s eve, having an early dinner and preparing for media noche and all that… but I still find it very quiet. No phones ringing off the hook, no neighbors talking outside and no sound of fireworks in the distance. It’s just really, really quiet.

I just spoke to my lola in Quezon City and in the background I could hear my aunts and uncles talking and how excited they were to hear from us. It feels so good to know that there are people on the other side of the world who think of us and who miss us and who love us very much even though we are very far from each other. There’s nothing like Filipino family ties and Filipino friendships.

I read or hear about friends who came home for the holiday season and I can’t help but feel a but envious… It would have been really nice to be able to come home to the Phils. even just for the holidays. I would have loved to see everyone.

Blessings

Today while lying in bed, I thought about how blessed I am to have such a great, loving family and how blessed I am to have really wonderful friends who I know I can count on no matter what.

My dad’s right, we may not have a lot of money, we may not have a big house or a nice car and we may not be able to afford nice things all the time but we have each other and to us, it is everything. I think about how we don’t get to choose the families we are born into and I look at mine and I appreciate it all the more. I know I am lucky because not everyone gets to go home to a family like mine. I am lucky because I get a big hug from my brother almost everynight before I go to bed and I love yelling “Goodnight!” right before I enter my room and hearing 4 different voices greet me back even when they are busy. I love that when things are tough and when I’m upset or discouraged or anxious, that I have a family that listens and doesn’t mind staying up late just so I can rant and get everything out of my chest.

Not only do I have a great family, but I am also blessed with such amazing friends who I may not see all the time and who I am not able to talk to as much as I want but everytime I need them, they are always there. Just the other day I was really upset about something and my first instinct was to go online and a very close friend happened to be online at the same time. I just started talking and venting and he was so patient eventhough it was midnight his time and he was probably tired and sleepy already. What touched me the most was the fact that he made sure I was ok before signing off. They’re not great friends because they always agree with me and they’re not great just because they’re pretty or funny or smart… they’re great because they really listen and not feel the need to always give advice or solve my problems, they’re patient even when I am being unreasonable, they don’t judge me even when I make mistakes and they tell me when I am wrong. I respect them because I know I can trust them to tell me when I’m being an idiot or being inconsiderate. I like that when I confide in them, I don’t need to remind them to keep it to themselves.

There are different ways to measure success in our lives… and each person’s idea of happiness and fulfillment varies. But to me, it will always be the people in my life that make all the difference. They will always be what matters most to me.

Proud.

Today I had another one of those moments where I realized my baby brother, Miguel, is really no longer a baby and that he is well into his teenage years.

I was trying to look for his email address so I could give it to my aunt. I thought I had it in my messenger contacts but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I remembered him adding me as a contact on his MSN live space so I figured I’d just access his page and I’ll find his email there. So with just a few mouse clicks I was on his page. I expected it to be a simple online page with, oh I don’t know, maybe an avatar or picture of some sort and maybe his email and messenger ID or something… but never in my life did I expect to see his blog!

I was really impressed! Although there were only 2 or 3 posts in it (mostly talking about his favorite animes and shows and his opinions on them), I thought it was still quite impressive. No grammar mistakes, no spelling errors and in full English too (oh ok, we speak English at home anyways so we’re all used to it) but I was just so proud! (and here I thought I was the only writer in the family…haha)

I don’t know how to explain it but it’s like seeing your sibling in a different light. Like seeing a side of him I never knew existed. I always knew he was smart (both my brothers are anyways) but seeing something concrete… proof of how smart and talented and witty they are is always such a pleasure. I get this warm fuzzy feeling of nothing but pure love and pride and fascination. It’s like, “look at my cute little brother and what he did and how good he is! Look, look, look!”

I can’t get over it! Just reading how he expresses himself and putting his thoughts into words and all that just makes me go… wow. I guess it’s more impressive to me because in my eyes he’ll always be my baby brother and every step he makes (no matter how small it may be) will always be big in my eyes.

Pinoy Food at Last!

My left arm feels a little sore from the flu shot I got yesterday… and yes, I still get shots at my age. If you must know, my mom is very diligent when it comes to getting her kids vaccinated. Regardless of how old her kids may be.

The government of Ontario provides its residents with a free flu shot each year and all you really need to bring with you is your Ontario Health card. The health card is also free… you just apply for it at the Ministry of Health and they mail it to you after a couple of weeks. I think it’s a privilege that people should take advantage of.. I mean, other provinces in Canada charge you for a flu shot.. you might as well take advantage of something that is being given to you for free.

After getting the flu shot, we went to a Filipino Restaurant called Jesse Jr. I’ve never been there before, although I’ve heard of it, and I don’t really know a lot of Filipino restaurants in town so I was a little excited to see what they had. I was really craving for sisig! I can’t even remember the last time I had it back home!

So off we went and Steve came with us. The place was decent and they had a big menu to choose from. It was quite cheap considering how much food they give you. To be honest, I don’t know a lot of Filipino foods by name so most of the time I just point at whatever looks good. Poor Steve was relying on me to tell him what they were and all I could do was ask the server because I had no idea what they were either! The food was great and I was surprised that Steve liked it too since it’s his first time trying Filipino food. It’s definitely going into our list of good places to eat at.

Squeeky clean.

I feel like my eyes are digging holes through my brain. Looking at the computer monitor for an entire day is not good. Nope, nope, nope.

Tita Judy is visiting from the Philippines this week and will be staying with us for a couple of days. Miracle of miracles, all it took was for a family friend to say she’s visiting and voila! The house is squeeky clean. I was so surprised to see the boys cleaning instead of playing on the computer. I’m glad to actually see more floor space in the living room instead of boxes and boxes of stuff. We didn’t really get rid of all the boxes but at least there are only a few of them left around the house.

Looking at those boxes made us realize how much junk we brought with us. JR and I were making fun of it… we even brought a power ranger action figure with us! How impractical and totally crazy is that?! We even brought some old school supplies (as if we couldn’t buy those here in Canada) and some old clothes that don’t even fit us anymore and are most likely not dryer friendly and will shrink as soon as we wash them. I guess for the most parts, we brought a lot of these old items with us because it was hard leaving everything behind.

I hope we get to visit the Philippines too… I miss everyone!

Little Ones.

If there is one thing you must know about me is the fact that I love listening to parents. I love hearing about what it is like to be a parent – the joys and pains of it all and what it feels like to raise a child. Since I was young, I have always imagined kids in my life one day. I know for a fact that I would definitely want little ones of my own.

Being the eldest of three children, I gave my parents a lot of “firsts” and I love hearing about their pleasant surprises and not-so-pleasant surprises when they had me and when my brothers and I were growing up. My brothers and I are blessed to have such good parents who are never shy to tell us how they feel or felt at times and what makes them happy, their hopes and dreams for us and who never fail to show us how much they love us. Occasionally, during dinner, my parents would tell us about the little things they remember the most about us growing up.

My mom endured 14 hours of labor when she had me and that I refused to come out so the doctors had to use forceps. Meanwhile, my dad was outside in the waiting room and refusing to eat or do anything but wait. My dad always tells me how anxious, excited and worried he was all at the same time because he had no idea what was going on in the delivery room. Both my parents would tell us that seeing and holding us for the first time gave them a feeling beyond words. Sometimes I try to imagine what I would feel like when I meet my child for the first time… but truth be told, I can’t imagine what it must feel like. I guess it’s one of those things you just have to experience on your own to know.

Sometimes I worry. I worry that I might be incapable of having kids. I worry that I won’t raise them right… that I won’t know what to do.

I love listening to parents talk about their kids and I like reading about it on blogs too. There’s just something magical and truly touching when a parent talks about his/her child. They glow… and it shows just how proud they are and how much their kids mean to them. My mom once told me that there is nothing like a parent’s love for a child. Both mom and dad tell me that having a kid changes your life forever. That it changes you.

I can’t wait.

Dinner, The Toronto Zoo, Wonderland and Harry Potter

What a weekend I just had.

Friday night, Steve and I spent the evening with his family. I met his mom (finally!) and although she didn’t speak nor understand English, she was quite polite and friendly. She did give me a hug before I left and told me in Greek that she was glad she met me. Aww.

Then we went to his great aunts’ house and visited for a few minutes and then went to dinner with his dad. We ate at this tiny restaurant called New Orleans and it was quite nice. The place was cozy and warm and the food was absolutely AMAZING! It was a bit pricy of course… each meal was about $20 but it was delicious. I’m not such a big fan of fish but I had tilapia and I loved it. I would definitely go back there.

The following morning, Steve and I went to the Toronto Zoo with my family. We got there around 11am and went through the African Safari first and then the Indo Malay Region and then the Canadian territory and then finally the Dinosaur display. The Toronto zoo is huge! We didn’t expect it to be that big. It was really fun and we enjoyed seeing so many different animals. We saw rhinos, elephants, cheetahs, lions, a polar bear, grizzly bears, giraffes, a cougar, bald eagles, orangutans, gorillas, etc. It was nice to see Steve and my family spend time together. He gets along with them so well especially with JR who has always been the quiet one in the family. After 7 hours of walking, we finally decided to call it a day and head home. Surprisingly, we only covered half of the zoo with those 7 hours! There was so much more to see but we were exhausted already.

That same night, Steve and I pass by Yorkdale to grab a bite and watch a movie. We passed by Indigo because I wanted to get a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. After eating, we were too tired to do anything else so we decided to just head back home and leave the movie for the following day. We were both so tired that we both did the same thing – went straight to bed and woke up the next morning.

Sunday, I woke up and realized I had slept over 12 hours. Steve had done the exact same thing. We decided to go to Perkins for breakfast and then head out to Wonderland since it was near Perkins anyway. I wasn’t really in the mood for roller coasters… I knew I would get sick as soon as I get on one. Steve was quite thoughtful and considerate, only taking me to rides that were relatively easy and just watched some shows. After Wonderland, we went back home to rest and then went out again to grab dinner and watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

I truly enjoyed the weekend.

The weekend

I’m hungry. I’ve noticed that around noon, my ability to concentrate on work goes down. It’s as if my tummy is telling me that I’ve been working too much and that it is now time to eat. Of course it doesn’t help that I can smell the food being prepared in the kitchen (our company provides us lunch).

While waiting for lunch, I guess I might as well talk about my weekend. On Friday, Steve was off work and the day was going by oh-so-slow-I-almost-died. I was so glad to see him after work when he came by to pick me up. We spent our Friday evening just relaxing at home with Fey and watching “Harold and Kumar go to White Castle”. I’ve never seen it before and I thought it was pretty funny. We had originally intended to go and see Tansformers that night but the showtimes were too late for us to go see it.

Steve picked me up early Saturday morning because we were going to go to the JW Convention in Hamilton. I’ve never been to Hamilton before and it felt like a long drive although it took us only an hour to get there. I was amazed to see so many people… I honestly didn’t know there were so many JWs… It was pretty interesting and I have to admit I learned somethings I didn’t know or think of before. After lunch, I was trying my best not to fall asleep but it was just impossible so I ended up dozing off. Steve was laughing at me at one point because I was bobbing for apples. The blue dress I wore that day (which happened to be new) had purple ink on it and a bit of strawberry juice by the end of the day. Talk about being clumsy.

That same evening, we had planned to see Transformers but once again, the showtimes weren’t that great and so we ended up watching a Korean movie with Fey and Daniel. It was such a good movie and had us fighting back tears through it. I ended up crying at the end of it. It was just so sad. It was a very impressive movie. We just don’t know what the title of the movie is because it’s in Korean.

Sunday, the family and I went to a Chinese Restaurant downtown and had lunch there to celebrate mum’s b-day. It was fun but the weather was awful. It had rained the entire day and everything was just damp and humid. After lunch, we decided to do a bit of shopping at the Eaton Centre and then I went to meet up with Steve. Later that night we took Daniel with us to an Italian Restaurant and then just relaxed at home after.

So the weekend has come and gone and we still haven’t been able to see Transformers.

Bad Mood

I’m so tired, it’s not funny. Plus the fact that Steve’s off today makes being at work even worse. Ugh. Not having my partner-in-crime at work is NOT GOOD.

JR and Miguel saw Transformers yesterday and they said it was really good. I’m dying to see it too but thinking of long lines and crowded cinemas makes the whole thing seem like such an ordeal. I’ve heard nothing but good reviews about it and I’m sure I will love it. I mean, how can you not want to see it?!

Because Stevie isn’t at work, we’ve had to order pizza for lunch. We normally have pizza on Fridays anyways but today’s pizza was just too soggy and not appetizing at all. I knew it, today would absolutely suck.

As you can tell, I’m not in the best of moods and I wonder if it’s because (A) Steve’s off today (B) I’m super duper sleepy OR (C) I’m PMS-ing.

I just want the work day to be over already. Can you give me that?

iPod Update

We’re having a company BBQ today at work which means we’re only working half the day! YAY!

I slept at 2am this morning since I was ripping CDs, downloading music and transferring them over to my iPod. I had originally intended to go to bed early but I kept telling myself, “Just one more CD… just one more song…” and on and on and on it went until it was already too late. I’m the type of person that likes to finish what they start so it’s difficult for me to put something down once I start it. I keep telling myself I can always do it another time but for some reason I feel the need to get everything done right then and there. It works to my advantage most of the time so I am guessing this is a good trait.

And then there’s the odd circumstance where it is a disadvantage. But if the positives are more than the negatives, then I’m definitely keeping the habit.

So now, I have over 800 songs on my iPod and three music videos. Purchasing videos on iTunes is quite expensive… at least I think so.

I bought my new iPod a cute case that when I carry it with me, it looks like I’m carrying a wallet. I guess it’s a little weird because now it looks like I am listening to my wallet. But it’s still cute so I’m keeping it.

One more thing: JR bought a set of iPod earphones that came with an FM tuner but it doesn’t work with his iPod so he gave them to me in exchange for my regular earphones. Sweet.